You may have noticed that I’m a little bit obsessed with TV. It suits the short attention span I cultivated at University when I had to analyse, analyse, analyse films – interminably long french films, film noir, David Lynch films, you name the genre, I’ve studied the hell out of it. I now purely watch the screen for entertainment and am far more likely to get into TV series. Don’t even try telling me it’s a lesser form of entertainment. TV is ART baby.
- On having the “Schoolies Week” talk with your teen – “The rules are simple. You don’t take a joint from a guy named Don and there’s no dogs in the car!” Dean, Supernatural (2012)
- On having to manage rambunctious kids all school holidays - “Serenity now!” Frank Costanza, Seinfeld (1997)
- On your kids calling you crazy and realising they may have a point - “I’m not insane, my mother had me tested!” - Sheldon, Big Bang Theory (2009)
- On your kid coming home in tears after losing their 10th footie match – “Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” Monica, Friends (1998)
- On your preteen announcing they hate you (for the 100th time) and wishing they lived somewhere else with another mum/dad – “Get one thing straight. You’re staying. This isn’t a democracy anymore.” - Rick, The Walking Dead (2012)
- On your kids flicking out a random doozie. I use this gem all the time, as my 7 y.o is clearly the Empress of Random – “WhatchootalkingaboutWillis?” Arnold, Diff’rent Strokes (1978)
- On your kids snacking constantly (and without asking) from the fridge – “Leave your money on the fridge” Ted Bullpitt, Kingswood Country (1980). Said with the appropriate grunt, of course.
- On educating your kids on general life (whilst swallowing a little bit of cheesy vomit in your mouth) – “It’s life’s little twists and turns and bumps and bruises that make you who you are.” Pacey, Dawson’s Creek (2001)
- A little bit of PG rated love for your favourite teen - “We can play who’s the better asshole. But I guarantee you I’ll win.” Deb, Dexter (2011)
- On fronting up to the school to discuss your kid being ostracised – “I’ve come here to drink milk and kick ass. And I’ve just finished my milk.” Moss, IT Crowd
Other Movie/TV Quotes you can use on your kids: