Do you ever wake up in the morning, wondering whether you’ve chucked an Alice and fallen down the rabbit hole or purchased a one-way ticket to Random Street?
This is my dilemma most mornings, from Scout asking me at 7am how to invent a portal, to Inky musing that “It’s nice to tell people they’re not fat”. Here are some of my kids’ latest hits.
Conversations with Scout (8 y.o):
I’d given Scout some of my old childhood books to read—one of these was Enid Blyton’s gripping “Mr. Meddle’s Muddles”. I was always a notorious doodler/scribbler in my books as a kid and this book was no different. This is the conversation we had one morning:
Scout: Mum, why are some of the word’s underlined in pencil in this book?
Mum: Geez, love, I don’t know, it was a long time ago. Maybe I underlined tricky words to ask my mum what they meant.
Scout: What, like “and”?
Mum: Scout you’re so random.
Scout: But it’s possible.
Mum: I guess anything is possible.
Scout: Except dying twice. On the same day.
…and topped off with one of Scout’s famous dad jokes:
Q: Why was the sausage dog a vegetarian?
A: Because he didn’t want to eat himself.
Conversations with Inky (3 y.o)
Inky is kindly taking our “order” for “bekfrast”.
Inky: What do you want?
Mum: Can I have pancakes with bacon, maple syrup and ice cream please?
Inky: You can get it yourself! ‘Cos you’re a grownup now.
Inky: You know, I had a brother, before you guys were even alive.
Mum: [waiting] Did you say thank you, sweetie?
Inky: Fankoo mummy!
Mum: Did you say I love you?
Inky: Last Friday!