To celebrate the onset of another ratings season, I present to you some salient behaviour-quenching quotes that you can use on your kids:
- On your 10 year old whinging about, well, whatever – “You know who whines? Babies.” Dean, Supernatural, S6.
- On your child adding “just one more” to her party invite list – “More does not equal merry. If there was 2000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we’d be suffocating.” Sheldon, Big Bang Theory, S3.
- On your kids putting you through classic School Holiday nagging for sweet sh*t - “People in hell want Slurpees.” Daryl Dixon, The Walking Dead, S3
- On your kids saying something so utterly random you are temporarily lost for words before saying, “Did you know there was honey dripping through the ceiling?” Joan Watson, Elementary, S1.
- On your child confiding that they’re scared of a bully at school – “I’ve noticed that very few people are scary, once they’ve been poked in the eye.” Brennan, Bones, S9.
- On your 3 y.o rebutting everything you say with “but whhhhyyyyyy?” – “What part of “I don’t know” escapes your understanding?” Castiel, Supernatural, S6.
- On being overwhelmed with affection for your kids - “I love you. It’s like you’re a disease.” Lexie, Grey’s Anatomy, S8.
- On random commentary about your child’s questionable TV choices – “Are you having an afternoon delight with Strawberry Shortcake? You need to warn me about that.” Crosby, Parenthood, S4 (only to be used on children not au fait with the concept of an “afternoon delight”, clearly).
- On your older child spotting a much wished-for toy you know their pocket money won’t cover – “I sense impending mayhem…and perhaps an outrageous petty cash request.” Hetty, NCIS: Los Angeles, S3.
- On your bickering sibs having a clandestine cuddle - “If that’s the last thing I see before they lock me up, it could be worse.” Brody, Homeland, S2.
Which new season shows are you most looking forward to?
(for me it’s “Supernatural”, “The Walking Dead”, “Revenge” and “Homeland”. Come to mama!)