For X-Files tragics.
Image credit: Jesus Belzunce
- On changing a nappy – “Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior? - Mulder (Squeeze, Season 1)
- On being caught out in a lie by your kids – “ I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.” – Mulder (Shadows, S1)
- On talking to kids about religion – “You know, they say when you talk to God it’s prayer, but when God talks to you, it’s schizophrenia.” – Mulder (All Souls, S5)
- On kids making their own bed, then hitting you up for pocket money - “Apparently miracles don’t come cheap.” – Scully (Miracle Man, S1)
- On kids demanding to use the iPhone - “If you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.” - Scully (Home, S4)
- On kids not doing what you ask – “I want you to do me a favor. It’s not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?” – Scully (Triangle, S6)
- On kids trying to shift blame - “Don’t lay this off on me, you sneaky son of a bitch, you pulled me into this situation because you didn’t have the courage to reveal the truth yourself.” – Mulder (Wetwired, S3)
- On kids wanting to know about their ancestors - “Aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster.” - Mulder (Home, S4)
- On kids declaring they wish they had a different mum - “You’re in no position to question the terms of our arrangement.” - Cigarette Smoking Man (Zero Sum, S4)
- On talking to kids about stranger danger – “Trust no-one” - Mulder (Take your pick)